What did the older chimney say to the younger one? There's a caterpillar on my salad. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round. Dying, he gasped out: 'Tee hee, Brutus. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one? What did one hat say to the other? Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented? They read the same whether you read them left to right or right to left. I could use a few. Hilarious Jokes That Are up in the Air ~ Air Jokes - Getting sick at the airport, could be a terminal illness. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through. What did one shark say to the other as he ate a clownfish? I went on a once in a lifetime holiday.
He died before he ever reached Canada. And then I saw her face. What do you call a pooch living in Alaska? They kept dropping their trunks. What did the traffic light say to the car? After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. Every calendar's days are numbered. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, 'What caused the submarine to sink? He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Funny One Liners That May Come in Handy ~ Masturbation Jokes - Having sex is like playing bridge; if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor. Nobody cares if you can't dance. Have you got anything to keep it in? In 1853, the Tate Watch Company of Connecticut decided to branch out and produce other products. They have just lost their bull.
Why was the little strawberry crying? Jokes That May Take Time to Digest ~ Complicated Jokes - I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. If you want a funny story, you won't find it here, short and funny jokes for a quick funny fix. He wanted to win the No-bell prize! What do you do with epileptic lettuce? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? After the benediction Father Henry had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: So, shall we cross? Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. What did the cop say to his stomach? In democracy your vote counts.
The problem with money is that it is tainted. What must you know to be an auctioneer? What do you call a pony with a cough? I would point out something and ask what colour it was. When you pull the right one, he recites the Lord's Prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm. It ran out of juice. My dyslexia has just hit a new owl. In feudalism, your count votes.
Fruit flies like a banana Without geometry, life is pointless. His mom was in a jam. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. Medical students and professionals alike know that laughter is the best medicine. Legal fetishist gets off on a technicality. We picked wild raspberries in the woods,' opined Elsie.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Here are their moments of fun amid tedious schoolboy writing. The first couple of chapters were awful, but by the end I loved it. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. Say what you want about deaf people … I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people — but none of them work. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them. Are they afraid someone will clean them? Why are frogs are so happy? And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Because he was a little shellfish. It was craving a well-balanced meal. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key. To blame it on someone else shows management potential. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes.