A woman who wants children and wants to be a mom who spends more than evenings with her children may not want to continue to be in the corporate world, which is not sympathetic to the needs of women during their child-bearing and child-raising years. I had to really struggle to get my home, and succeed at work, and I do not want to be in a position where a roof over my head is at risk. I bought necessity items for his children. I dont even cast my line anymore. So stop asking where all the good men have gone.
They start out by being grateful and delighted that I have financial means and that slowly changes to feeling entitled to tell me how to spend my money and resentful. This is not for someone in their 40s. I had a boyfriend that I supported for two years and a half. Some of the welfare recipients I know seem to be angry, jealous and exploitive of those with money. The money thing rears its ugly head all the time. As someone from a community whose views are not always included in mainstream discussion of issues, i really value it. Let me tell you something for free….
I feel like I keep waiting for him to be more financially secure and I am continuing to work overtime to keep the bills paid, but I feel resentful. I hope this economy will turn around and solve both of these problems. And it is all about quality of life. Want to continue relationship but seems like he will never get out of this rut — he may not even want to. We just got into a very bad argument and almost got physical. So you love a guy with low self-esteem. Game over… Replying to my own comment, yes, because after reading over it myself, I saw that I completely came off as angry and depressed.
Gets up at 3 am, works 12 and 14 hour shifts while I work from home. My both sons have jobs, one has a full-time job working 15 hr. I just turned the divorce paperwork in and paid for it. Look at our , and remember: no matter who you meet or don't meet, you're one hot date. I earned double what he did and I too earned my wages in a short time frame in 4 years by working my ass off and demanding more.
Obviously there are folks who make this work but that has been my experience as well. Now, I figure my money's mine, theirs is their own. He then started messaging that he missed me. I love every minute of being able to stay home and raise my kid instead of worrying about daycare. A few more years, and I was given a promotion opportunity overseas, in a country where husband was unable to work and we knew that going in.
Only time will tell I suppose. You are very right to help him get his financial ducks in a row and to ask him to come up with a plan. Paying for dates and all that crap is not old school patriarchical sexism, it is man expressing his ability to take care of you, in other words, that he is alpha. In The Richer Sex: How The New Majority Of Female Breadwinners Is Transforming Sex, Love, and Family, Liza Mundy explores the profound ways the new economic order is transforming the dating scene, the marriage market and the balance of power within relationships. The love I felt unworthy of.
I was addicted to approval and validation from other women. One would be hard pressed to find instances where a woman makes even slightly more than her husband without the subject quickly becoming a point of contention. Some the guys are broke from the devastation of divorce but too many are just self centered losers hoping to take advantage of my desire for a relationship and looking for a cushy place to land. I feel for you, Anonymous Lawyer. I bought him steak dinners, nice clothes, paid all the bills, basically babied him. He would cook dinner but other than that nothing.
Right now we are talking, he is still out the country. I can't have a giggle with the girls over our sex lives or lives while constantly worrying that my boyfriend will get all butthurt that it's too personal or whatever. A female reader, , writes 9 January 2013 : I am also in an all too similar situation with my boyfriend of 2 years. He has alot of really cool guy friends but he would honestly just rather stay home and watch a movie with me than go out all hours of the night with his buddies. This man was a handy man and would make a little cash once a month. Also it really depends on his age. And you are left with a nightmare.
I know that I have a tendency to be a goody-two-shoes but am I being too pollyanna-ish about this issue? At first he cherished you. At one point, nearly double. Before that I had different jobs but only a few weeks of employment gap. Is he going to want to split the costs of a child as if you were divorced and it was child support? At least if my ex were to beat me up it would show that she puts me in a different class of being than, say, a cockroach or a public toilet. Imo, a stable financial footing by no means measures up to the experience of love, especially one that's life lasting which yes, with the current divorce rate even that too is rare apparently :p. Remind him he is loved, unconditionally while still challenging him to be a better him by looking deeper, dating himself, get to know him like he is his newest love and attraction.